Premier Championship Wrestling
December 4, 2016
1.) “Amazing” N8 Mattson defeated Ace Perry to open the show.
Mattson with an M80 for the win.
2. Joseline Navarro defeated Laura Loveless.
Loveless: “What’s wrong?”
Navarro: “That hurt.”
Fan: “Your shoes are ugly.”
Loveless: “So are you.”
Navarro by submission.
3.) “Pro Wrestling’s Jackass” Dale Patricks defeated Mance Warner.
Warner got noted wrestling photographer Wayne Palmer to shine his boots before the match.
This match was stiff. At one point, Patricks suplexes Warner into the ringside barrier.
Patricks won with a piledriver.
4.) Black Hand Society (Jack Pollock & Payton Graham) defeated Dropkick Dave & Uppercut Ulysses.
When a 4-year old girl in the front row attempted to clap hands with Jack Pollock, he just laughed and shook his head at her. #HEEL
Pollock low-blowed his opponent before rolling them up for the pin.
5.) A Miracle on 34th Streetfight: Rex Brody defeated Derek Direction.
Direction: “I am not in a good mood today. I have a headache and I need silence.”
Direction: “I hate Christmas.”
Direction revealed that he has been searching 20 years to find a Turbo Man doll and has never found one.
Because of that, he has decided to cancel Christmas, Chanukah, Valentine’s Day, Arbor Day, and even President’s Day.
Joe Dombrowski came out.
Dombrowski: “PCW will save Christmas.”
He goes on to state that if Direction beats Rex Brody, PCW will no longer acknowledge any holidays. However, if he loses, Direction must hand out gifts to the fans.
Rex Brody pushed a cart of presents to ringside. The first that he unwrapped to use as a weapon was a copy of Mick Foley’s autobiography. He whacked Direction with it and then locked him in a camel clutch with the book opened in front of Direction’s face.
Crowd: “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
Direction finds a package marked “explosive.” He opens it only to find a stuffed monkey. He is once again tricked when he finds a small bag that he assumed contained thumb tacks. He dumped it and glitter came out.
There were stiffer moments, too. Brody put his helmet on and headbutted a rake that he had placed on Direction’s groin. Later, Brody applied a claw hold to the same region. Ouch!
Finally, Brody hits an elbow off the top of a ladder for the three count.
CHRISTMAS ISN’T CANCELLED!!
Dombrowski is back out…with an elf suit. He conveniently forgot to mention to Direction that he had to wear it while he passed out gifts.
Dombrowski: “If you don’t do it, you’re fired.”
Dombrowski: “Don’t worry, we’ll laugh about it later.”
Brody felt around inside a stocking and pulled his extended middle finger before giving Elfin Direction a stunner. Brody passed out gifts as the crowd cheered.
I cannot emphasize what a terrific segment this was. I have been attending wrestling events at Turner’s Hall for more years than I care to admit and I think this may be the best I’ve ever seen there. It was a quintessential little slice of what makes professional wrestling great. It was funny, weird, and violent. It pandered to a willing crowd. All three participants were perfectly cast for their roles. There were consequences attached to the outcome of the match. Mostly, it was just fun.
Derek Direction has been having a helluva year. The day before this show, he wrapped up an angle with another company that had been percolating for the last six months. It was absurd and entertaining in a way similar to this angle. Direction just “gets it.” He knows how to present his personality in a manner to push the fans’ buttons. But he also has an appreciation for the preposterous that allows for big, memorable moments. My buddy Tim commented that Direction would be a perfect fit at Chikara. I’m hard-pressed to disagree.
6.) Jackson Stone defeated Chris LeRusso by disqualification.
LeRusso cut a promo upon entering the ring.
LeRusso: ” I don’t have to prove myself. MAKE ME CHAMP.”
Stone is a beast. He bombarded LeRusso with tons of variations of suplexes.
LeRusso was disqualified when he cracked Stone with a chair.
7.) Sonny Vice defeated Gavin Glass.
Vice avoided a kneestrike only to nail Glass with one leading to a pinfall.
Vice: “Let’s hear it for Glass.”
He demands to face Matthew Justice.
Dombrowski comes out. He says that he can’t sanction the injured Justice to wrestle. He puts Vice over by saying that Vice taught Justice a lesson.
Nicki Valentino interrupts. He revealed that he trained Vice. He demanded that Vice carry his bag and then smacked him in the face.
A brawl broke out.
Dombrowski held an impromptu poll to gauge fans interest in future Saturday events, instead of the usual Sundays.
8.) The Culmination (Krimson, Gory, Remy LaVey) (w/ The Cogars) defeated Jason Kincaid, Andrew Palace & Nate Wings.
This was a wild, wild match.
Example: Nate Wings scaled a basketball backboard and jumped off the hoop BEFORE the bell rang starting the bout.
The Cogars were quickly kicked out for interfering with the action.
Kincaid to Gory: “I hate your ugly face.”
Gory ghetto stomped Wings leading to the pinfall.
The Culmination carried off an unconscious Nate Wings on their shoulders. What is his future?
January 15th: Page v. Jones, Palace v. LaVey, Vice v. Valentino, Gory v. Frightmare
Nate Wings (Photograph courtesy of John Janezic)