(Absolute Intense Wrestling – Our Lady of Mt. Carmel – Cleveland, OH. – May 27, 2017 – Bell time: 7:30 PM)
Correspondent: Ted Zep
Read the results of JLIT 2017 Night 1 HERE before continuing.
Ring announcer Pedro DeLuca comes out shortly after bell-time to begin the show. He cuts a heartfelt promo about the namesake of the tournament, JT Lightning. Lightning ran Cleveland All-Pro Wrestling from 1993 until 2011 when he passed away after a valiant struggle with cancer. He invites two of Lightning’s children, Hannah and Mike, to join him in the ring. DeLuca remembers JT giving so many individuals who are working in different capacities on this evening’s show, their start in the business—himself included. He gives the nod to some former workers and fans in the audience, including myself and Chris Galla who were All-Pro loyalists. (Chris is an ardent fan with an impeccable eye for young talent.) The segment wraps with all in attendance giving a standing ovation to the “Godfather of Cleveland Wrestling.”
"The Indomitable JT Lightning"
Fatal Four-Way #1
Shawn Shultz defeats Colt Cabana, Matthew Justice & Mordecai to advance to the tournament final.
Cabana scoffs and smirks at Mordecai’s ritualistic and serious entrance.
Shultz approaches Mordecai holding Justice’s silver bullet belt that he wears to the ring. He holds it up to the Pale Rider, who doesn’t react. Next, he waves cloves of garlic in his face. Nothing. Finally, he threatens him with a crucifix. Mordecai stares at him blankly while Cabana is on the mat writhing in pain. It was a fantastic sight gag.
Once things get serious, Shultz is cornered by his three opponents. He futilely tries to talk his way out of the dilemma.
Mordecai breaks his staff across Shultz’s back.
Justice does a huge dive on his opponents who are outside the ring. Back in the ring, he is “Baldo Bombed” by Mordecai.
Shultz gives a “Three Stooges” eye poke to Mordecai.
Shultz pins Justice to advance to the finals.
Audience to Mordecai: “Please come back!”
Mordecai poses with a fan who was dressed as him.
Fatal Four-Way #2
Tracy Williams defeats “Filthy” Tom Lawlor, Dominic Garrini, & Mike Tolar (w/ The Duke).
Tolar and Garrini start. Garrini goes for a triangle choke.
Lawlor tags in. He and Garrini square up. The two are rolling on the mat. The fans are really into this. Earlier in the day, Lawlor had talked smack to Garrini via Twitter.
Williams tags in to go with Lawlor.
A kid in the first couple rows loudly announces that “this is boring.” Lawlor shuts him down fast and hard.
Williams tangles up Lawlor with a gnarly abdominal stretch.
Lawlor dusts Williams with a wicked right cross.
Each other gripping the back of the other’s neck while that wail away on each other with punches. Endless punches.
Garrini is in and continues blasting away on “Filthy Tom.”
Lawlor plants Garrini with a fallaway slam.
Tolar is in a goes for a quick pin attempt on Lawlor. Nope.
"Mike Tolar and The Duke" - Credit: John Janezic
Lawlor confines Tolar with a punishing rear-naked choke.
Tolar hits a German suplex on Lawlor.
Williams “Olympic Slams” Tolar.
Lawlor gives a swinging neck breaker to Williams.
Garrini combos up on Lawlor with a running knee strike and a combo of jumping knees.
Tolar: “Olympic Slam” to Lawlor.
Garrini is battling Tolar outside the ring.
Lawlor and Williams are trading venomous elbows. Lawlor dazes him with a “Superman” punch. Williams scores with chops and a repellant clothesline.
Lawlor fires off a cavalcade of punches. He sinks in a body vice paired with a headlock.
Williams hits Lawlor with a pair of jumping powerbombs and pins him, despite Lawlor’s foot being on the rope at one point during the fall.
Williams and Lawlor shake hands after the bell.
This is a very different and serious Tom Lawlor who has shown up in Cleveland tonight. He was far more serious. I love that he put in so many minutes in the match. I assume that was by design.
"So Much Swag" - Credit: John Janezic
Fatal Four-Way #3
Joey Janela defeats Gringo Loko, Laredo Kid, & Alex Daniels (w/ Gregory Iron).
Super Crazy is out in a neck brace. He was injured at a show earlier in the day when a turnbuckle snapped while he was performing a moonsault. He announces that Laredo Kid will be his replacement. (This isn’t logical to me. Kid has already been eliminated from the tourney. Just make the match a three-way to keep the integrity intact. The UFC used to have this issue in the very early days of the company. It made things murky.)
Daniels is irate.
Daniels (pointing at his opponents): “I already beat you. I already beat you. And (to Loko) I beat your fat friend (Steve Pain) yesterday.”
Janela and Daniels start. They quickly brawl to their way outside.
Kid and Loko pick up the fight in the ring. Kid “Lionsaults” Janela and Daniels on the floor. Loko soon follows.
Daniels delivers a vicious kick to the temple to Loko.
Janela and Daniels trade chops.
Kid slingshots Loko into the audience. He follows with a springboard hurricanrana.
Loko and Kid perform stereo frog splashes to their prone opponents.
There is a “Tower of Doom” spot with Kid being superplexed onto Loko.
Loko hurricanranas Kid on the floor. Ouch!
Janela piledrives Iron. He superkicks and ghetto stomps Daniels, which leads to a pin.
AIW Tag Team Championship
To Infinity & Beyond (Colin Delaney & Cheech) (c) defeat The Young Studs (Eric Ryan & Bobby Beverly).
The Studs start the match by crushing Cheech’s chest with chops. I mean damn…
Ryan performs a hipbuster from the bleachers to Cheech.
Cheech recklessly flips Ryan onto the bleachers. (I shouldn’t compliment this stuff, but Eric Ryan is one tough son of a bitch. Seriously.)
Ryan is slingshot into the ring, caught, and powerslammed by Delaney. It was a cool move.
Delaney and Ryan are in the corner. Ryan drills him with a wicked “Tree of Woe.”
Beverly German suplexes Cheech.
Ryan double-leg dropkicks both opponents off the top rope.
Delaney hits a pop-up DDT on the Apron to Ryan. Delaney then hits a stunner from the top rope to Beverly, which transitions into a German suplex/pin attempt by Cheech.
To Infinity & Beyond had a difficult time securing some complicated finisher.
Pick Your Poison #1
“The Captain of the Ship” Louis Lydon defeats T-Money.
Tim Donst is out to choose Lydon’s opponent. He names T-Money.
Money rocks Lyndon with a pair of slams. He then wheelbarrows him into a post.
Lyndon wows with a springboard moonsault to the floor.
Money destroys Lyndon with the “Pounce” and an “Oklahoma Stampede” into the top turnbuckle. He goes for another but Lyndon reverses it into a “Dragon Sleeper” and gains a submission.
AJ Gray defeats “Safety First” Ryan Kaplan.
Kaplan splashes Gray in the corner. He then recklessly dings Grays head off the metal barrier.
Gray retaliates with chops and a shoulder slap. He moonsaults Kaplan off the top rope to the floor…and sorta hits him.
Kaplan hits Gray with a double-legged dropkick through the second rope. He then flips over the top to the floor. (Sheesh!) He force-feeds Gray a lariat.
Gray returns with one of his own. He pairs it with a jarring headbutt.
Kaplan hits a “Destroyer” off the ropes. Jesus…just Jesus.
Kaplan with a…SPLIT-LEGGED MOONSAULT. GOOD. GOD.
Gray: Samoan drop. He hit’s a Phoenix splash off the top rope for the pin.
Audience: “Thank you, Kap-lan!”
This is like cheering on a drunk at to do something stupid at a college frat party. There were some horrifying moments in this match, which I suppose is its appeal. Gray isn’t bad at all. Kaplan should remain earthbound but clearly has a calling to fly.
"AIW's Sweetheart Britt Baker" - Credit John Janezic
Six Pack Scramble
Frankie Flynn defeats Steve Pain, Nasty Russ, Gary “The King” Baller, Chase Oliver & Britt Baker.
Baller and Oliver start.
Russ lauds Oliver: “It’s his second match EVER!”
He then kicks him in the face…twice.
Russ: “I betcha haven’t taken one of these, kid.”
Baker cross body blocks Pain.
Flynn smacks Baker in the face.
All the competitors surround Flynn take turns beating him down. They toss him in the air and let go causing him to take a “Nestea Plunge.”
Oliver leaps to top rope and lands a moonsault to the floor. His work is smooth.
Baller dives off the top, too.
Pain does the ACH “Jordan” dive.
DCR trips Baker and carries her to the locker room.
Pain crushes Baller’s chest with four chops.
Dick Justice comes out from back fighting DCR.
Baker appears from behind the curtain on the stage. She scales to the top of the giant “A” of the “AIW” set dressing. Barely taking a moment to think, she leaps onto her opponents below. This is undoubtedly the moment of the night.
Russ and Pain are duking it out mid-ring.
Oliver takes a pop-up press.
Pain package piledrives Baller. He locks Baller in a figure four crab while he has Baker in a “Torture Rack.”
DCR breaks up a pin attempt on Flynn by Baker. He then cracks Justice with a Lacrosse stick.
Russ cannonballs Oliver. Pain breaks up the pin attempt.
Flynn fucks up a backpack DDT on Oliver for the pin.
Pick Your Poison #2
Tim Donst defeats Eddie Kingston.
Louis Lyndon announces his choice of opponent for Donst.
Audience: “Edd-ie King-ston! Tim Fuckin’ Donst!”
The two brawl through the crowd and up into the bleachers. Kingston poses with a fans NXT belt, then beat him with it.
As they brawled by me, Donst picked up my gallon of water and took a swig and spit on Kingston. The “Mad King” did the same. (Uh, that will be $1.89, AIW.) They continue on through the venue.
AIW concessioner Monsoon Classic is handing Kingston a pizza box and he is cracking Donst over the head with it.
Kingston shoves Donst off the barrier backward onto chairs. Reckless! He then bounces Donst’s head twice off of the time keeper’s table.
Kingston: “Wanna see the greatest high flying move you could ever see?”
He does an elbow drop.
Kingston runs Donst’s head into a chair held by a fan.
The two FINALLY make their way into the ring. The bell sounds to officially begin the match.
Donst rolls up Kingston for two. He then gives him a double nipple twister. Yikes.
Donst: “I told ya’ll, I ain’t scared of nobody…!”
They are back outside.
Donst nearly decapitates Kingston with a hanging “RKO.” He hits a swinging neckbreaker and rolls up Kingston for the win.
After the match, Kingston “ball taps” Steve Guy.
"Family" - Credit: John Janezic
First Time Ever!
Matt Cross defeats Adam Cole.
Grandma Cross was near the merch table when the introductions began. She comes hauling ass to her spot in the front row to watch her grandson perform.
Audience: “Grand-ma Cross!”
The fans adore Cole with streamers. He blows a kiss to Cross’ grandmother. He then swerves the audience by pretending to throw his shirt out to them.
Cross rocks Cole with a backbreaker across his knee.
Cole shoves Cross off the turnbuckle to the floor. He screams at the crowd “to move.” They scatter. He then smirks as he instead throws Cross back into the ring.
One fan, in particular, is annoyed by Cole
Fan: “Adam Cole eats gas station sushi!
Fan: “Adam Cole watches porn at the library!”
Cross delivers an elbow to Coles’ face. He lands a stomp to Coles’ back while he is standing and bent at the waist.
Cole answers with an enziguri. He hits a fireman’s carry into a neckbreaker.
Cole: “EAT SHIT!”
Cole connects with a lariat.
Cross catches “Adam Cole Bay-Bay” with a rebound stunner for two.
The opponents are on their knees trading blows. They struggle to their feet, still slugging it out.
Cole combos a superkick, “Shining Wizard” and “Brain Buster” for a near-fall. He goes for a sunset flip powerbomb, which is blocked.
Cross wrecks Cole with a reverse “Frankensteiner.” He buries Cole with a “Shooting Star Press” and pinfall.
JLIT 2017 Finals
“Hot Sauce” Tracy Williams defeats “Bad Boy” Joey Janela & Shawn Shultz to become the JLIT 2017 champion.
Janela and Williams lock up for a test of strength.
Shultz stalks his opponents outside the ring.
Janela “Tombstones” Williams.
Shultz is in and mugs Janela. Janela kicks and chops him. Shultz savages him with punches and kicks. Janela tags him with a European Uppercut.
Williams “Olympic Slams” Shultz.
Janela “Ghetto Stomps” Williams.
Daniels come running to ringside pursued by wrestlers.
Shultz rolls up Janela to eliminate him.
Janela follows Daniels to the back.
Williams elbows Shultz.
Shultz fires off a low blow for a two.
Williams locks on the crossface on Shultz for the submission
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Winner of the JT Lightning Invitational Tournament: “Hot Sauce” Tracy Williams